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  1. For This I Had to Grow Up?

    For This I Had to Grow Up?


    Have you ever asked a kid what he wants to do when he grows up?

    We did. And here’s what they answered:

    “When I grow up, I want to drive carpool.”

    “When I grow up, I want to do my taxes. Nervously.”

    “When I grow up, I want to worry about money.”

    “When I grow up, I want to wonder how everything I do will affect my back.”

    “When I grow up, I want to randomly yell, ‘Careful!’ when my kids are playing.”

    “When I grow up, I want to repurpose my leftovers.”

    “When I grow up, I want to bribe my kids to do things that I can do faster.”

    “When I grow up, I want to insist I don’t snore.”

    “When I grow up, I want to kill spiders in the bathroom.”

    “When I grow up, I want to wonder why all my doorknobs are sticky.”

    “When I grow up, I want everything I do to have deadlines.”

    Oh, wait. None of them answered that.

    Growing up is not what we expect. But doesn’t humor come from the unexpected?

    Mordechai Schmutter has deadlines. For the past CENSORED years, he has entertained readers with his weekly humor columns in Hamodia, The Brooklyn Family Pages,, and other publications.

    Never you mind how many years. Enough years that some of his columns are now mechuyav in mitzvos.

    This is his sixth book. But who’s counting? Learn More

  2. Stop Drop & LOL, How to safely roll from laughter from the comfort of your own straitjacket

    Stop Drop & LOL, How to safely roll from laughter from the comfort of your own straitjacket


    Disclaimer to end all disclaimers:

    This book does not contain every possible disclaimer. You’ve been warned.

    Caution: Do not judge book by other side.

    Notice: Introduction sold separately.

    Warning: Do not use book as a public telephone.

    Notice: Do not read this book if you cannot read.

    Missing cat! Return to Schrödinger, dead or alive!

    Notice to residents of the United States:

    Federal law requires that we post this notice on each copy of this book entitled Stop, Drop, and LOL. If you notice a book that’s missing this notice, please call and notify us at once. you may be eligible for a cash reward!! (The number to call appears on the bottom of each notice.)

    Notice: If you’ve purchased this cover without the book, assume that someone else has the funny material that you paid for and is literally laughing at your expense right now.

    Beware: If it’s so dark that you can’t read this warning, your shin is about to make contact with something sharp.

    Danger: Never read the fine print. If there was anything in it that’s good for you they would have printed in huge letters.

    Inside: Complete Guide on How to Burn Books [Caution: Do not dispose of this book in fire.] Learn More

  3. A Time to Dance, Marriage Tips with Humorous Quips

    A Time to Dance, Marriage Tips with Humorous Quips


    Let's be honest: It happens. Many a couple lose the spirit that they felt at their chasunah. All too often, things get stale.

    How do we find the joy in our marriages, once again? How do we regenerate the spirit? How do we become better spouses? How does the oneness of the phenomenon of ishto kigufo and baalah kigufah proliferate?

    Many words of mussar are inevitably distant from us. Too delicate and fragile to allow such words to permeate our being, we build mental walls of protection around ourselves that are impenetrable. In truth, these are not walls that protect us. They are destructive and debilitating as they proscribe change and rejuvenation. They are particularly damaging when they impinge on the delicate relationship of marriage.

    What does work?

    Rabbi Yehoshua Kurland is a renowned educator and bestselling author who, for decades, has successfully penetrated hearts and broken through barriers with his inimitable style of teaching. His genius lies in his ability to share deep and powerful messages in conjunction with humorous stories and jokes in the spirit of the classic Talmudic milsa d'bidichusa.

    Through his wit, we become open to his teachings.

    Through his wisdom, we become open to change and inspiration.

    It is time to re-discover simchah in our marriages.

    It is time to celebrate our lives together and the symphony of marriage.

    It is time to recognize that the happiness we felt under the chupah can last a lifetime and that indeed, it is always: A Time to Dance. Learn More

  4. Dieting is Tough - Losing Weight is a Cinch!

    Dieting is Tough - Losing Weight is a Cinch!


    A practical and supportive guide to safe dieting, spiced with a touch of humor. Real life situations from the world of a frum woman.

    You've attempted a dozen diets or more. You've lost track of how many times you've promised yourself that this time you'll really stick to your goal and lose weight. Over the years, you've shed hundreds of pounds, just to gain them all right back!

    How about trying something new for a change? Let go of the diet and start losing weight - once and for all! Here's a little secret: Diets are tough, but losing weight can be much easier than you think!

    My approach doesn't require any major lifestyle change or force you to spend your day counting calories. Instead, all I ask is that you leave your battleaxe aside and simply listen to yourself! My approach draws upon the foundations of life coaching and psychodrama, but is presented by someone who always prefers cream cake to lettuce and whose best friend is Chocolate! I oppose starvation rations and engaging in constant battle against the enemy called Food, and I equally respect your desire to eat and your desire to lose weight and will prove to you that these two conflicting interests can coexist peacefully.

    This book, based on the weight-loss courses that I lead, is presented in a colorful, amusing and experiential comic format. Spiced with a good dose of humor and several grains of salt, it analyzes typical scenarios taken from our world: The Woman's World.

    Over the years, hundreds of course participants and alumnae have learned to really listen to themselves. Best of all, they have lost considerable amounts of weight and managed to maintain their new weight long-term, regardless of what was happening in their lives.

    So why not give yourself the chance? You've got nothing to lose, except your weight! Learn More

  5. What Is This - Some Kind of Joke?

    What Is This - Some Kind of Joke?


    A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this - some kind of joke?"

    No, the rabbi routinely hangs out with these guys. In bars. I don't know; maybe it's a salad bar.

    Since the beginning of time, Jews have been telling jokes, mostly as a method of self-defense. Mordechai Schmutter specializes in these jokes. Through his humor columns in Hamodia, The Jewish Press,, and other forums, Mordechai entertains thousands of readers with observations on Jewish life, "education," "parenting," and animals in places you wouldn't normally expect to find animals.

    This book is his fourth collection of such articles, and his fifth overall. It also features bonus material, writer commentary, and people asking, "What?" every time you laugh. Then they start reading over your shoulder.

    If this makes you uncomfortable, you can direct them to the fourth feature: a wrap-around cover they can enjoy even more while you have the book open. Until you suddenly move the book, and you're left awkwardly staring at each other.

    This would be a good time to crack a joke. Learn More

  6. Cholent Mix

    Cholent Mix


    Cholent Mix Learn More
  7. A Clever Title Goes Here

    A Clever Title Goes Here


    A Clever Title Goes Here Learn More
  8. The Art of the Date

    The Art of the Date


    The Art of the Date Learn More
  9. Chassidic Comics #1

    Chassidic Comics #1


    Chassidic Comics #1 Learn More
  10. David



    Davids Harp Learn More

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