The Ami Letters #2, MORE Questions & Answers with Torah Hashkafa

At long last, read and re-read 70 MORE of your favorite questions and answers culled from seven years of weekly Ami columns.

Includes over 70 questions and answers covering real-life issues in the areas of Faith & Belief • Emotional Wellbeing • Friends & Community • Family Matters • Kibbud Av Va’Eim • Work & Finances.

Appearing in the pages of Ami Magazine for over seven years, “Ask Rabbi Shais Taub” has gained a wide and dedicated following who return weekly seeking his astute guidance, clarity, inspiration, and deep faith. Rabbi Taub’s trademark style of answering the questioner and not just the question has been praised for its sharp ability to dissect and analyze the readers’ questions as well as its compassion and empathy. Much more than just an advice column, “Ask Rabbi Shais Taub” has become a trusted source for penetrating insights on life, based firmly upon authentic Torah values.

Foreword by RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER, Publisher of Ami Magazine

The talmidim of the Baal Shem Tov were famously divided as to whether it was their calling to become involved in the mundane problems and issues of their followers. In his Iggeres Hakodesh (22), the Alter Rebbe complained that instead of dealing with questions relating to Torah and the neshamah, he was being inundated with requests for advice and blessings pertaining to physical matters. In the end, even if it was not something they initially wished to do, that is what all the great tzaddikim and rebbeim did—and for a valid reason.

In a letter to a 14-year-old girl, the Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote as follows:
“I received your recent letter and…was somewhat taken aback by the tone… You have surely learned in books of mussar [ethical works] and especially chasidic teachings about the tactics of the yetzer hara to instill a spirit of depression, discouragement and despondency in order to prevent a Jewish person from fulfilling his divine mission… This is exactly what has happened in your case, and I’m surprised that you do not realize it…

“You surely know of the saying of the Baal Shem Tov that a soul comes down to live on this earth for a period of seventy to eighty years for the sole purpose of doing another Jew a single favor materially or spiritually. In other words, it is worthwhile for a Jewish soul to make that tremendous journey and descend from heaven to earth in order to do something once for one fellow Jew.”

I know very few individuals who have done as much for so many of our fellow Jews, particularly in helping them cope with the challenges life has thrown their way, as my esteemed and cherished colleague, Rabbi Shais Taub. The very first time I spoke with Rabbi Taub I recognized his uncanny ability to dissect a person’s emotions and get to the crux of the matter, whereupon I immediately invited him to write an advice column for Ami Magazine. Since then, countless people have gotten to known Rabbi Taub and benefited from his matchless gifts.

Like all true chasidim, Rabbi Shais Taub would rather be teaching Torah and disseminating chasidus. His efforts on behalf of others therefore come at great personal sacrifice, meaning that they are all the more holy.

Of course, anyone who studies Rabbi Taub’s columns closely will realize that he is actually teaching Torah and disseminating chasidus as he advises people how to deal with their challenges. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, there are nuggets of Torah hidden inside his pearls of wisdom.

May he continue to go from strength to strength.

Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter, Publisher of Ami Magazine

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Faith and Belief

• Do My Efforts Make a Difference?          
• How Can I Feel Hashem’s Love?
• Doing Things for the Right Reasons        
• Making Sense of Temptation     
• Wondering If I Lack Faith            
• When Life Is “Too Good”            
• Does Worrying Mean That I Don’t Have Enough Emunah?             
• My Husband Lacks Yiddishe Spirituality 
• I Feel Torn Between Two Worlds            
• Why Am I Afraid of Life Itself?   
• How Do I Determine My Goal in Life?     
• How Do I Determine My Goal in Life?  (Followup)            
• Finding Meaning in My Role at Home    
• How Can I Know If the Questions Are Genuine? 

 Emotional Wellbeing

• To Go for Therapy or Not?         
• Forever Seeking the Perfect Therapist   
• Teenage Loneliness       
• Trying to Help My Friend Improve His Middos    
• A Chasan’s Stresses Before His Wedding
• Can Doing Mitzvos Bring Me Joy?           
• Lowering Standards to Ease Pain             
• Can Addiction Be Permanently Cured?  
• Giving Up on Teshuvah 
• Raised in a House Full of Conflict            
• Desensitized by Childhood Trauma        
• Help Me Understand My Depression     
• Addicted to Anger         
• Making Sense of Life with OCD  
• Living with My BPD Diagnosis    
• Disappointed with My Community         

 Friends & Community

• Trust and Friendships   
• Relating to Different Jewish Groups       
• Choosing the Right Shul
• Are There Limits to Doing Chesed?         
• Setting Healthy Boundaries       
• Will Our Kiruv Work Hurt Our Children?
• Dealing with Gossipy Friends     
• Dealing with a Sensitive Friend 
• Difficulty Forming Friendships   

 Family Matters

• Feelings of Inferiority on Pesach
• Keeping the Peace During Pesach           
• Worried About a Younger Sister’s Summer Plans
• My Sister Is Destroying Our Mother       
• A Din Torah Is Tearing Apart My Family 
• Dealing with an Angry Granddaughter   
• Fun at Family Member’s Expense           
• Found Shocking Downloads       
• Hosting Non-Frum Relatives      
• Relative Wants to Leave Yiddishkeit       
• My Family Went Off the Derech
• When a Sibling Goes Off the Derech       
• Inviting Irreligious Guest Against Family Wishes 

 Kibbud Av Va’Eim

• My Mother Shares Too Much About Her Life with Me     
• My Parents’ Marriage Is in Jeopardy      
• My Mother May Boycott the Wedding  
• My Mother Cares More About Her Clients Than About Us..
• My Parents Can’t Stop Fighting 
• How Can I Come Closer to My Parents? 
• I Resent How I Feel Towards My Mother
• I Am Still Mourning My Mother 
• Kaddish for an Absent and Unworthy Father      

 Work & Finances

• Balancing Work and Nourishing My Soul
• Can One Be Holy in the Workplace?       
• What Am I Required to Do to Earn a Living?        
• Despondent About Parnasah     
• I’m Jealous of My Husband’s Professional Life    
• How Much to Tell Children About Our Finances?
• Conflicted Over Two Summer Job Offers
• My Child Is Worried About Money         
• My Husband Works for My Father          
• Dealing with a Toxic Co-Worker
• My Sister Wastes Her Money    
• My Relative Is a Wild Schemer  
• My Husband Caused a Financial Scandal